It’s time to talk, like really talk

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We all know at least one girl who has declared that she “hates girls,” usually followed by a rolling of the eyes or an indignant sigh.

We all have. And at one point or another we’ve all been that girl.

For a brief moment, we all lost ourselves in the refreshing attention of guy friends, condemning the heavy drama we’d been carrying around with our gang of girlfriends.

Women dole out snarky remarks, icy looks and back-handed salutations, while guys carry on with their seemingly infinite supply of team spirit.

Men have kinship and bromance, while women seem locked in an eternal Cady vs. Regina style arch-rivalry (that’s a mean girls reference – if you didn’t get it).

It has gotten so bad many of us have sacrificed female friendships altogether in favour of “being one of the guys.”

But there has to be a reason. What could it be?

DISNEY.

Just think of all the Disney princesses we grew up watching. From Ariel to Cinderella, not a single one ever had a female friend.

In fact, if there were other women present in the movie, they were either villains or rivals.

Let’s break this down.

Snow White:
Friends with seven dudes and woodland animals.
The only other female in the movie is the evil queen.

Cinderella:
Her only friends were cats, mice and a questionably fictional fairy godmother.
The other females in the movie i.e. stepmother and stepsisters = evil.

Ariel:
Flounder = boy, Sebastien = boy.
Urusla = evil tentacled octopus thing…also a female!

“Princesses may confide in a sympathetic mouse or teacup, but they do not have girlfriends…princesses avoid female bonding. Their goals are to be saved by a prince, get married, and be taken care of the rest of their lives.” Peggy Oresnstein.

Oh, makes sense. Thanks for breaking that down for us Peggy.

When we were kids we would watch hours upon hours of Disney movie.

Sidebar: My parents were great. They were actively involved in my upbringing and even forced me to play outside…like all the time.

Hour and hours of Disney movies…see how I got back on track there? Clever!

Those Disney movies showed me that every woman I encountered in my life was an immediate rival or enemy.

That can be really damaging to a child’s psychiatric well-being and lead to us impressionable young girls to become he-man women haters.

Fun fact: there was even a club at one point.

But for real, other girls are the only people who understand what you’re going through.
They are the ones to converse with about unequal pay and sexual harassment. They are the ones who support us and give us strength.

To say you hate women is to say you hate yourself.

There will always be people you don’t get along with. There will always be girls who give women a bad name, just like there are boys who give men a bad name.

There are just crumby people out there — men and women. But there are also amazing women and men out there.

If we attack our own gender what’s to keep everyone else from doing it?

Saying you don’t like women just reinforces the stigmas so many women have been fighting against for years.

So princesses, stand high on your podium, but make room for every other princess to stand up with you.

We’re better together.

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