A hot take on pugs

I have a controversial opinion: pugs aren’t cute.

Don’t get me wrong, I love animals and I would play with a pug if it came up to me.

However, even though I’m an atheist, I still think they are an affront to God.

Like most dogs, they are prone to health problems like hip dysplasia.

Pugs even have their own specific disease named for the breed; pug dog encephalitis, a brain disease that causes behavioural changes, seizures, depression, and lethargy among other things.

Oh, and you know, eye prolapses are fairly common, which the owner can usually solve by popping that rambunctious little eyeball back in there.

My friend knew of a black pug that lived on a farm that was mostly blind and would have seizures of you left it in the sun for too long, so they would have to keep it wet.

This specific pug required almost constant adult supervision.

You can leave an animal outside for an hour as good way to tell if it’s supposed to exist or not.

Most dogs or cats would be fine, but with a pug outside for the day, if they didn’t get carried off by a bird they would likely succumb to an asthma attack.

Pugs wouldn’t be able to survive on their own, in much the same way a human infant is, except more people like pugs.

A common statement for people with pugs is “they’re so ugly they’re cute.” Sure, that works for some people I guess.

Pugs are a good example of man’s hubris, we took the majestic wolf and turned into a stunted, wrinkled abomination with breathing problems.

Generations of selective breeding turned the mighty predator into a creature that has trouble getting onto a couch.

It’s the triumph of man over nature, where we can basically create animals to suit our tastes.

Want a dog to pull a sled in a blizzard? We got you.

Obedient guard dogs? Yep!

Dogs with an incredible sense of smell to track almost anything? Absolutely.

What about a dog that can’t get anywhere on its own and needs humans to live? We’re on it.

Take that, Gaia, we don’t need you anymore.

We can make our own monstrosities in less time than natural evolution.

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