As an avid NHL fan, I take great pride in watching games, discussing players and winning arguments. But there is one day out of the year that gets me so excited that a hypothetical situation in which I marry Ellen Page could not even tear me away from my TV: trade deadline day.

It’s the day that many armchair general managers like myself dream of. It’s the day that men from across the country call in sick to work for. Or in this case, sick for class. For when that “breaking trade” icon appears at the bottom of the television screen, the hope in one’s eyes are reminiscent of a dog awaiting its favourite treat. It’s a very rare situation in which the feeling of happiness or despair can lie in the very same acquisition.

TSN is able to house a vast array of sources from across the league, whereas my source is much more subdued. His name is Lappy and his job is computing. He sits beside me as I feverishly click the “reload” button to different sports websites, hoping that TSN forgot one, that perhaps they weren’t first in breaking the trade. And when that happens, I rejoice with the satisfaction of hearing news before the news knows.

Then the reality sets in, it’s Scott Walker heading to Washington – whoopity-doo. My 30-second, high-fiving binge with myself comes to an abrupt end. Then, as a way of incurring the wrath of the beast who dwells within me, Walker’s name appears at the bottom of the TV screen in such an obscure way that the experts don’t even analyze it. The trade is merely a side note in an otherwise busy day of giving and receiving.

I’ve been punching the buttons on my cellphone with incredible speed and vigor. Then the cellphone that I had grasped so tightly drops to the floor in slow motion. The news I was breaking to my friends wasn’t even news at all. It was just, dare I say, filler.

So why do I tell you this? Why do I share this most personal experience of my life?

I do it for two reasons.

The first is so that Canadians from east to west can come together in unison and make the NHL trade deadline day a national holiday.

Think of the possibilities! No longer will people walk into each other while staring down at their cell phones for the latest trade updates. No longer will businesses suffer from distracted workers instant messaging each other over the internet. No longer will post-secondary classrooms be filled to half their size. Most importantly, no longer will students spend the day in front of the TV only to realize they’ve missed an exam or assignment. Everybody wins.

The second is so that I may showcase a hidden talent or two and successfully predict a least a couple trades in the coming weeks. As well, perhaps for the subconscious reason of redeeming myself from last year’s “news of the day” text message that Walker had been traded.

Fear not loyal Endeavour readers, I will not make you suffer through a Scott Walker sequel, but rather, ensure a head nod of appreciation when one of my predictions comes true. Stay tuned. Next week’s column is sure to predict the future.