Here are 10 pick-up lines that will never work. Please don’t try them. Some have been used on me and my friends and the only result is an outrageously loud burst of laughter. So whether you’re the persecutor or the victim, here are the Top 10 worst pick-up lines and their clever come-backs.

10. “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?” It’s a red octagon that says stop.
9.”Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know what I want for Christmas.” If you can remember my name any time prior to Dec. 24 you’ve got your gift.
8. “Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?” I would look cute, you on the other hand…
7. “I forgot my number, can I have yours?” Sure, phone books are free.  I’m sure I’m in there somewhere.
 6. “You’re hotter than doughnut grease.” Not sure if calling someone any type of grease is a complement at any time.
5. “Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.” I don’t have a map, keep on trucking.
4. “A large polar bear just broke the ice.” Breaking the ice is key but being corny is not required.
3. “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?” Go ahead and just keep on walking.
2. “Oh, Mickey, you’re so fine.” Using the song lyrics of the most over-played pep rally, cheerleading theme probably isn’t the way to flatter a person.
1. “Bond (pause for dramatic effect) James Bond.” Unless you’re Pierce Brosnan, you can pretty much scratch this one off your list.

If you used some of these prior to Valentine’s Day, it’s probably the reason you stayed single. Check out next week’s column where I’ll give you my Top 10 tips for getting healthy and staying that way.