How We Roll

Much like my height, my relationship short comings are…well…short.

I don’t mean that in a self-demeaning way. I just mean when it comes to my partner’s pet peeves, I am not exactly ideal model of a man material.

When I think of all the things I love about my beloved, I must admit nothing brings a smile to my face more than all the little things I get in trouble for.

One of the things that bothers them the most is when I fail to replace the toilet paper when I have used the last few squares.

If I am being completely honest, in the beginning it was an honest mistake. I would often be in a hurry or just forget.

Now I can’t say truthfully that I forget.

Usually, I know exactly when I’m doing it.

I don’t do it to make them angry, I just want to see what their reaction will be.

One instance in particular that stands out in my mind was when I forgot to refill the roll before they went to use the washroom.

To provide some context, we live in a very small one room apartment. The living room can be seen from the bathroom if the door is open.

I was watching T.V. minding my own business when out of nowhere, an empty toilet paper came flying through the air and connected with my unsuspecting face.

I looked over and saw my partner sitting on the toilet with their hand on the door handle with a look of fury on their face.

“Seriously Dean?! Why do you always leave me hanging?!” they boomed and slammed the door.

I looked at the toilet paper roll that was now sitting on my lap and I started laughing.

Although they were legitimately mad at me in the moment, I couldn’t get over how hilarious the situation was.

So now I do it on purpose just to see what their response will be.

It’s awful but now it’s a fun game.

If anyone knows my partner, they know they have a very creative mind.

The most recent incident was last night. They put a little sticky note on the empty roll I had left and put it on top of my laptop when I left the room.

The sticky read, “I will start leaving it empty for you. Don’t test me boy.”

It’s such a strange thing to love someone for, but I love them for this.

The worst part is they do nothing that bothers me.

They have no quirks that annoy me around the house, they are legitimately the perfect partner.

We have lived together for four years and they are still perfect.

Here’s another story that exemplifies how much of a nightmare I am to live with:

I got so bored that I set up a pellet gun shooting range in our tiny living room complete with a tarp to catch the bullets, so they didn’t make holes in our rented walls.

The best part? They joined me after giving me the gears about it.

I got in trouble yes, but then they showed me that not only were they the perfect person, they had really great aim.

So long story…well…long…I think it is our flaws that bring us closer together.

It forces us to interact when our lifestyles are so jam packed with activities beyond our control.

In the moments we are so exhausted we can’t muster the strength to say one word to one another, those little pet peeves shove us back together.

Plus they make for really funny stories.