When it comes to maintaining long-distance friendships, it’s not about making grand gestures or constant communication through texting, it’s about not letting the far distance turn quiet. 

For many young adults, they enter new seasons in life such as graduating, working a full-time job and moving away from home. With these transitions, friendships shift and social circles change.

 That one friend you once saw every day in school felt effortless at the time, but now you’re both further away and it requires intention. 

Sonja Rostad, Briercrest University, student studying counselling, says she has multiple friends who live further away from her. “The bulk of my friendships are either an hour drive away or they’re five hours away.” She met many of her friends at bible college and developed a close relationship with all of them. She stays in touch in unique ways whether it’s facetime or sending photos.

“With one of my friends, we send each other voice memos that way we get a better glimpse of each other’s life and it’s also just nice to hear each other’s voices rather than reading a text,” says Rostad.

With romantic or platonic long-distance relationships, they require intentional effort but when it comes to friendships it’s mainly built on proximity such as going out for coffee or going on spontaneous adventures. 

Intentionality is key when it comes to friendships especially in long-distance friendships. It all comes down to closeness and how much you value the friendship. 

Heidi Osterwalder, Canadian certified counselor from Camrose says it’s important to recognize the input needed when it comes to certain relationships. “Look at it as what you want to achieve out of this relationship and talk to the person about ways to connect and what that can look like.” 

With friends who live far apart, they live different lives. For others it’s attending university or getting started on their career. With the busyness of life, balance is important.

“It’s important to make those in-person friendships where you can go out for coffee with or study with but also stay in touch with friends who may live farther away,” says Osterwalder.

When two friends are living completely different lives it’s important to not rely on friendships farther away. 

“Don’t put too much pressure on that relationship with a geographic distance because you need those in-person connections and can’t survive long-distance.” says Osterwalder.

Making those connections in-person helps you find that balance. Its also important to stop and think about why you got close with friends you made back then.

With the growth of social media, there are many ways to stay connected such as texting, calling, facetime and other apps such as BeReal to see what your friends are up to.

As for Sonja she says she’s developed a rhythm when contacting her long-distance friends and has valued the friendship more. 

“Even just cold-calling my friends and asking for five minutes to chat really helps and realizing how much of an impact they make on my life even though they may not be here in person with me.”

Maintaining long-distance connections takes patience, time and intentionality. 

It’s not about who lives the closest but who continues to show up even from far away.