The easiest trap to get caught in is the one that tells you, you can’t change. You’ve developed an identity and with that a reputation.

When I hear the word identity the first thing that comes to mind is something positive. I think “my identity as a student” or “my identity as a people person.” Perhaps your identity comes from how you were raised.

When I think of a reputation, I think a bad reputation; the girl who cheated on her boyfriend or the man who was fired from two separate jobs for stealing from the petty cash.

But there are two sides to every coin. Aside from our first impressions, having an identity is not always a positive thing if it keeps you stagnant, just as accepting a bad reputation on your life would be incredibly hazardous. Identities and reputations can be suffocating or they can be catalysts of change we want to see for our lives.

In recent years, studies have shown the number one fear for people to be change, but change is what pushes us to be truer to ourselves.

However it isn’t always an easy process.

Positive identities and reputations just simply feel nice. They give other people a sense of comfort in thinking they know what to expect of you and in that, we find acceptance. But beware of that comfort becoming a crutch or a roadblock.

Perhaps you were always expected to go to university and get a medical degree but some other incredible opportunity came up and it sparked you like nothing else. Would you be able to drop your expected idea of who you are meant to be?

If you know a change is in order, could you bear the fact that people might look at you different? Do I dare say people may not even recognize you?

This kind of identity crisis happens all the time. We see people who know they are gay, hiding in closets. We see students dealing with high levels of depression and anxiety pumping through a post-secondary program that they hate. We see people more afraid to make a career change then watch years and years get swallowed up by a job they have lost all passion for.

We see parents stay together for the kids, ignoring the fact that the children can still see their pain and falsity.

I can’t help but be curious about what we as individuals would be able to accomplish if we weren’t so afraid of having an identity, much more free to evolve. If when a good or bad reputation was imposed on us, we could choose to learn, grow and move on from it, instead of dwelling in the comfort of recognition.

Perhaps, the more forgiving we were with ourselves, the more accustomed we would get to forgiving others and allowing people to change.