The subject collapses into bed, showered after a hard, sweaty Sunday practice and ready to soak up some much desired shuteye.
11:00 p.m. She thinks to herself, “Boy, is it ever nice to be getting to sleep at a decent hour. At this rate, I’m going to bound out of bed at 7 a.m. and be in my prime.”
12:20 a.m. “I don’t even feel tired. I’ll try lying on my back; flat on my back always does the trick. Man, the game on Saturday was such a blast, though. My one regret, I just can’t believe I wore those slippery new wheels. I guess I should have wore my old ones. They never steered me wrong. Why did I have to switch things up? I know the old-saying as well as the next guy, ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.’”
1:30 a.m. “Which wheels did that one jammer have on? I think they were Diamond Razors; red ones on the inside, white ones on the outside. Or was it the other way around? I wonder if red or white wheel is grippier? “
3:45 a.m. Resorts to surfing the web to relieve her insomnia. “If I were to order Bones bearings from the States they would be $45. That’s half the price! Canada is trying to rip me off again! Oh, wait. This is a skateboard site. Skateboards only have four wheels right? Right. Roller skates have eight. Oh, so for half the price, you get half the bearings. Canada isn’t ripping me off, that’s fantastic! Wow, I can’t believe how worked up I just got. What time is it anyways?”
4:22 a.m. Back to bed. “I need to work on getting through the blockers faster so they won’t have time to be intimidating. That’s totally my problem. Shoot! I’m thinking about roller derby again! I need to sleep! Class is in 3 hours!”
5:00 a.m. “Well, there is positively no chance of even one REM cycle for this girl tonight. Just one would have been stellar. Why can’t I stop thinking about derby? Am I addicted? Am I obsessed? Will I end up being one of those crazy people with the weird hobby that takes over their entire life? Oh my gosh, I’m going to be like that guy who makes bubble structures and gets asked to talk about it on Conan O’Brien!”
5:10 a.m. “Maybe I’m hungry. The obvious solution is peaches and cream oatmeal and writing that column for this week’s paper that I wanted to write. What am I going to write about this semester anyways? . . . Oh of course, ROLLER DERBY!
So she bounds out of bed, throws on her housecoat, makes a decadent bowl of Quaker instant oats and flips open her laptop.
Entry 1: “It has been three months since I started skating with Lethbridge’s first ever roller derby team, the Deathbridge Derby Dames. It all started when my crazed instructor and Dames member, Cherri Blaster, began talking about the sport everyday in class. Her passion sparked my curiosity, which in time had me strapping on a pair of roller skates. Before this, I was the girl who vowed to never play a team sport. I swore up-and-down that I didn’t have a competitive bone in my body and now, I’m rolling with the Dames.
This weekend I played my first rookie scrimmage with girls from all over Alberta and Saskatchewan. Women braved the cold weather and snowy highways to come to Lethbridge to play in a 40-minute game.
Before my rookie debut, I watched the Deathbridge Dames play their hearts out trying to defeat the Gnarlie’s Angels from Rossland, BC but sadly the Dames were defeated.
Then it was time for the rookie scrimmage. I skated the best I could; my nervous knees shaking in my blue fishnet stockings. My team, the black one, reigned victorious! Not bad for my first bout experience.”
And so she finished the first entry about her intriguing debut into the fast-paced, hard-hitting world of women’s roller derby; a journey that is sure to sing of passion, challenge and people of all walks and wheels.