To Spanx or not to Spanx

Let’s talk about it, most people have rolls; and not just chunky monkeys like myself. Even skinny people sit down and have rolls.

Just to clarify, I’m not talking about delicious dinner buns when I say rolls. What I am talking about is chunk rolls…like chub. You follow me so far?

My whole life I have been a little bit chunksicle. (Yeah, I just made up that word. Think like fudgesicle, but instead of fudge – sidebar: I love fudge – use the word chunk, hence chunksicle.) For most of my teen/adult life I have just dealt with the fact that body-con dresses, tight tops and anything with stripes will never look the same on me as they will on a mannequin.

Even though I’m OK with it, we have somehow come to a point in society where having no visible bumps or lumps is considered the norm.

Let me tell you, it’s not.

In fact, world renowned lingerie model Iskra Lawrence, who has been featured in Sports Illustrated many times addressed it on her it on her Instagram page.

“Having rolls of skin or fat that are soft, squidgy, or big or small does not define your beauty.”

Say what? A model recognizes that perfection doesn’t stem from a flat stomach.

I know, this is quite a shock, so I’m going to stop for a minute so you can take that in.

Alright, that’s long enough. I will go on.

For the vast majority of people, it takes copious amounts of work and dedication to be sans bumps. AND even then, most people can only achieve that ideal while standing straight, not breathing too heavily or not drinking enough water.

Personally, I like chocolate way too much to be lump free. Seriously. Me + Chocolate = couple goals.

So, for people who can’t achieve the imposed ideal of a flat stomach, what are the options?

Photoshop, lighting tricks, carefully crafted selfie angles or…*insert victorious trumpet flute* SPANKS.

Spanx or shapewear in general will suck and tuck most of the figure underneath your clothing. When donning such garbs, it’s not uncommon to feel as though your body has been shoved into a soul sucking sausage casing.

The plus side? No visible rolls.

Worth it? Absolutely not.

Although they will smooth me out and make my clothes fit better, I much prefer having unrestricted access to my lungs and the power to take deep breaths.

So in my expert opinion, if the question is: to Spanx or not to Spanx?

The answer will always be…no thanks.

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