Healing together: A guide for helping loved ones through sexual assault

Encouraging recovery through understanding and compassion. #IBelieveYou. Graphic by Ma. Janine Doroca.

In a society where sexual assault is pervasive, experts emphasize the value of friends and family in helping survivors get the care they need. People are urged to educate themselves on how to care for their loved ones in a compassionate and efficient way given this tragedy.

Family members and friends are frequently on the front lines and in an unusual position to provide comfort and validation. However, the complexity of this issue demands more than a supportive presence – it demands a deep understanding of the challenges survivors face and the potential consequences sexual assault may have on their mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

Cheryl Patterson, the manager of Chinook Child and Youth Advocacy Centre, emphasizes that taking the first steps toward getting the right support is educating yourself.

“It’s really just about being aware, educating yourself and knowing how you can respond to a friend or a family member who discloses to you that they’ve been sexually abused or assaulted.”

In providing effective support, learning about the complexities of sexual assault comes first. The myths and misconceptions surrounding this experience must be understood.

Patterson highlights the harm that comes from victim-blaming, which occurs when survivors are wrongfully blamed for the assault because of their actions or what they are wearing. Instead of emphasizing the victim’s decisions, the attention should be on the offender’s actions. Another common misconception is that sexual assault only happens in dark alleyways between strangers. Contrary to this belief, a significant number of cases really involve people known by the victim. According to the Alberta government most cases of sexual assault where the police filed charges, the victims knew the person. This represents 87 per cent of the cases. Furthermore, the myth that survivors must display specific behaviours—like instant reporting or visible indications of distress—contributes to victim-blaming and discourages reporting.

“These are the types of things that really discourage individuals from reporting or seeking help if they don’t feel that they’re believed or validated,” Patterson added.

Another effective form of support for the survivors is being aware of local resources that are accessible. Assistance is available from the Chinook Sexual Assault Centre and other community support centres, but appropriate channels for referral are important, particularly in situations involving minors. For example, the Child and Youth Advocacy Centre receives referrals from law enforcement and provides complete help for child-related issues.

Lethbridge College’s Wellness Services qualified professionals are also available to help in building a campus environment that brings comfort and support to students. Offering free counselling services demonstrates a dedication to attending to the student’s emotional and psychological needs.

Lynda Church, a registered nurse and Gender-Based and Sexual Violence Support within Wellness Services, emphasizes the importance of establishing a community that supports.

“Supporters don’t have to be experts; they just have to show compassion and then help students in the right direction for support if the student is agreeable to it,” Church added.

Initiatives such as ‘REES’ which stands for Respect, Educate, Empower, Survivors, play an important role in this support system. It’s a confidential platform that gives students the option of sharing their stories anonymously, which not only gives them a way to express themselves but also helps to gather documentation.

Church further mentions that additional support can be found from your trusted instructors, Indigenous services elders, coaches, or any individual who can connect you to campus resources.

Friends, family, and communities must work together to break the silence around sexual assault. By uncovering myths, being aware of available resources and advocating for survivors, one can contribute to the development of a culture that values empathy, support, and empowerment for victims of sexual assault.

Need help? Reach out to the Chinook Sexual Assault Center by dialing 403-649-1094 or visiting www.csacleth.ca. To receive support from Wellness Services, visit CE1380 or contact them via email at gbsvsupport@lethbridgecollege.ca or by phone at 403-320-3289.

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